Teaching is sort of like...

…eating a jawbreaker.  Wait wait, hear me out.  You start out full of hope and excitement, looking forward to the long journey ahead, but then after hours and hours of work it seems like you have made zero progress.  It started out so sweet and new and full of color, but now at times it just seems bland and monotonous.  But then, wait!  Could it be that you have finally broken through??? Nope, false alarm. Just another unforeseen layer to work on.  And also, much like when you are bored with a jawbreaker, when you get fed up with a student you put it in a plastic bag and shove it in the refrigerator. Right???  Well, today was one of those days (with my kids not with jawbreakers…I don’t think they sell jawbreakers in Costa Rica unless they are plantain flavored), where my kids had the miraculous ability that only kids seemto have of taking me on an emotional rollercoaster ride from average, down to depressed, and up to euphoric all in about 12 minutes.

                Physically, my classroom has a lot of strange juxtapositions.  The school itself is 66 years old and it doesn’t look like much has changed exteriorly since it was constructed.  From the outside, my classroom looks like a tiny little green house…possibly even a large playhouse you would expect to find in a backyard.   I think the outside is misleading though, as the inside is really quaint…except for the 17 computers lining the walls.  I don’t have enough desks some days for my students and we are definitely not even close to breaking free from the clutches of the blackboard era and storming into the 21^st centuries with whiteboards, but from an incredible donation, we have tons of computers with internet  AND built in English learning programs.  At first I felt almost overwhelmed by the technology and resources available to me to teach.  For a fleeting moment I even felt a little less useful and borderline pointless in the school since they had English learning programs on the computers to use, but I convinced myself that a real person is more useful…gosh I hope its true!  Anyway, the deal I set up with the kids is that if they are good during the week, we can use the computers on Friday, which naturally led to the students making the sad but true point that we almost NEVER have school Friday, so I told them whatever day of the week happens to be the last day of the week (which is unfortunately more often than not, Wednesday), we will use the computers.  Now, I thought this was pretty fair!  And the kids seemed to really like it and accept it...for a bit.  After all, if you give a 1^st grader a cookie, he’s gonna want a glass of milk.  So today all of my 1^st and 2^nd graders literally through a tantrum in the first 5 minutes of class because they wanted to use the computers and I told them that a) it’s only Tuesday and we never use them on Tuesday and b) we need to practice because they know they have a test on Thursday.  Nothing.  They were not having it.  And I was really surprised because I absolutely love these kids and honestly, most of the time they are twice as mature and patient as the 3^rd and 4^th graders who raise my blood pressure every class.  So after many minutes of trying to explain why we weren’t going to use the comps todayand them just not understanding or accepting, I eventually teacher stared all of them and did the whole waiting in silence with a serious “I’m not mad, just disappointed” face until they all stopped talking.  As a tiny backtrack I start every class by asking them “how are you” and all of my students were sad because we weren’t using computers.  Okay, and we’re back to me teacher staring and them listening.  So two of my awesome 2^nd graders, Brandon and Lauren (such tico names right? Though they are pronounced “Brahn-done” and “Lah-oo-ren”) kept telling me they were happy now, I think because they felt guilty, and I told them all that I was sad because they weren’t listening and because there was no respect in the classroom today.  So Lauren and Brandon starting rallying the other kids by asking them, “How are you?” and everyone would say “I’m happy” and then they all started chanting it.  Lauren then said what I think is the cutest thing I have ever heard: pero teacher, siustedestafeliz, estoyfeliz.  Pero, cuandoustedestatriste, estoytristetambien (but teacher, if you are happy, I am happy.  But when you are sad, I am sad too).  So now I have a classroom of kids looking at me like guilty little puppies and I am thinking to myself “What the hell happened? Are these the same kids that were just yelling and calling me mean 2 minutes before”.  And before I could even go to Lauren and profess my undying admiration for her, ALL of my students jumped out of their chairs and literally tackled me to the ground in a group hug and wouldn’t get off of me until I told them I felt happier.  I quite literally could not stay mad at them.  Maybe the love and respect of a 6 year old is superficial and fickle because all I really need to do is high five them for them to think I’m Jesus, but this was the first time any of my students really showed outward care for me.  Since I have been here, I have been so busy trying to care for all of my students and even though it has been hard at times, I have perfected over the years  the skill of convincing the outside world I am totally fine when inside I am exploding (a skill I am trying to get rid of because its ultimately dishonest and unhealthy).  There have definitely been times here when I have felt alone and like there is nobody I could really go to who will understand my troubles.  I realized that this time in class was really the first time I had just let down my guard and let myself show my students how I was actually feeling instead of forcing a smile and just continuing with class and it was overwhelming to realize that the care is reciprocal.  Now, maybe they just felt guilty because they knew my sadness stemmed from being mad at them, but I would like to think they just genuinely want to see teacher happy.  Again, maybe the emotions of kids are too fickle to put a lot of stock in, but its classes like that that make this often thankless job completely worth doing.

"Exercising" in La Esperanza

            So in the months in between graduating from U of R and coming to Costa Rica, I was in by far the best shape of my life.  I started running, trained for a half marathon, and for the first time in my life was really starting to embrace a daily active and healthy lifestyle…I credit most of this to my temporary move to San Diego to live with Rina for 4 months prior to leaving the States.  I think when one moves to southern California, a once dormant gene that was simply waiting in a state of cryostasis maintained by several consecutive Northeast Winters is awakened.  I call this gene the Crunchy Granola Gene (or CGG as it will be called in scientific journals years from now) , whereas upon its infusion into the once hermit-like East Coasters bloodstream,  waking up at 5 am to go for a 7 mile run seems like a fantastic idea and delicious Philly Cheesesteaks are replaced with foods with the word “Power” in the name (Powerade, Powerbar, Powershakes, Powerwaffles, Powercheeseburgers, Powerbeersetc…).  So, even upon my departure from California, remnants of CGG were still pulsating in my veins, and producedlike a little voice in my head saying things like “Oh man look at that steep mountain…I bet I should climb it barefoot!” and “Oh look mud!  I bet I should walk in that barefoot!” and “Oh look my shoes!...Fuck you shoes!”.  The moral of the story is that since being in La Esperanza, I have been trying to combat the 6 meals and 4-5 cups of coffee I drink everyday by going on runs, which is usually met with strange looks from the locals as I gallop awkwardly up the coffee hills in the rain.  Today however, I had an especially Tico style run that I want to share.  I usually go on the same 3-4 mile round trip run from my house to the edge of town where the dirt road meets the paved road and back.  Even though it’s a short run, its so hilly that I am usually pretty spent when I get back.  Since I haven’t gone on a run or really moved more than 1 mph since Rina and I climbed Cerro Chirripo 2 weeks ago (stories of her visit here to come in the next post!!), I decided to get back into the habit and go for a run today to get my butt back in shape.  Since there was no school today (which is not at all rare these days:-/), I woke up around 8 and off I went!  I made it abouutttt 2 km until I made the fatal mistake of saying hi as I passed by my host mom’s cousin’s house (this is only a fatal mistake in terms of the continuity of a run, but always great when in the mood for some good conversation and a cafecito).  This naturally led to a tour of her beautiful house, an introduction to her 2 cows, 24 chickens, 6 huge pigs, and 28 weeee little 4 day old piglets.  This was followed by her showing me baby pictures of all her kids and then giving me coffeand  5 of her homemade sweet breads (she makes breads and sells them to the local towns as her business).  After about 2 hours visiting, off I went again!...for about 1 km.  Then I, truly not learning from my previous mistake, said hello to all the folks (5 of them) working at the trapiche as I past (the trapiche is the little sugar cane mill in town) which of course led to a 30 minute stay while eating hot sugar cane off a piece of wood and drinking aguadulce, which is a sweet hot drink made from the cane.  Finally, with a very full stomach, I ran the remaining 2km home or so.  So to sum up….3 1/2 hour run. 3 miles covered. Breakfast, a snack and desert.  This about sums up my level of activity here!  I think it is these type of unexpected morning that I will really miss when I go back in the states.  I have become SO accustomed to the hospitality, the friendliness, and the nosiness of people here that I don’t notice it at all anymore until I really and think about it.  I literally cannot walk anywhere in town without everyone I pass asking me where I am going and why, even if I am only walking to the school, which is about 60 feet from my house.  I think when I go back to the states, I will be very confused when nobody stops me as I walk around the streets of Philly just to ask me why I am there, where I am going, and if I have a novia (girlfriend).  I have also become used to running into a familiar face in the street meaning at the very least a halt in forward momentum to have a short conversation and running past a familiar house unexpectedly guarantees a tour, coffee, and more often than not, a full meal.  So, when I come home 100 pounds heavier but tell you that I ran every day, now you will understand the mystery.  Puravida.

1000 Apologies for the 2 Month Hiatus, But I'm Here Now To Share With You Stories of Latest!

Oh what’s up June!  Where the hell did you come from??  I was just hanging out with January a few days ago it seems and now you show up all unannounced…sneaking up from out of nowhere and what not! You should be ashamed, June…ashamed!  Speaking of shame…this posts idiomabroma:

My Tico friend asked me the other day what my last name is.  I told him and he immediately went wide eyed and starting laughing hysterically.  Okay, fine buddy, I guess “Sobel” is pretty gringo sounding but I didn’t realize I made such a hilarious joke.  After he finally got his composure, he asked me to say it again.  Apparently, I really need to work on my annunciation in this country.  Sobel = the proud and dignified surname of my family crest and ancestry.  Sobo =” I masturbate”.  PERFECT!  Now when people ask me my last name, I pronounce each syllable with such over-the-top distinction for clarity that people are probably thinking I am having a stroke, but better they think I am having one “stroke” than several…if you know what I mean.

So I have been in La Esperanza for 4 months and Costa Rica in general for 5…insanity.  I really apologize for the 2 month lag in blogging…every time recently that I have sat down to write, I became overwhelmed with how much time has passed and all of the things that have happened and wouldn’t know how to start, so I would put it off, which just perpetuated my problem as more time passed.  I also have to admit, part of the reason that I haven’t been blogging as much recently is that I think I have been in somewhat of an existential dilemma regarding the microcosmic experience that is living in a new country for one year.  I think sometime in May, I hit the inevitable point where the novelty of almost all things had started to wear off.  At first, simply the mere act of speaking Spanish, even if only to disgrace my last name and ask my 12 year olds when the twins were due, was enough to make my day.  However, as the weeks past and turned into months, the uneven ratio of Awesome Spanish Conversation: Moments I Stared in Silence asPeople Around Me Discussed Things I Couldn’t Understand and I Would Occasionally Here My Name Mentioned Followed By Laughter (especially when my host mom talks because I can still sadly, barely understand anything she says), really started to get to me.  However, I think I am starting to feel more on the upswing in terms of attitude and ability regarding my Spanish now and the frustration has more just become a change in mindset.  I have started to learn the invaluable art of being content merely listening to and watching my environment without the constant feeling that I need to be outwardly engaging in it all the time.  Thus, the part of me that admittedly loves talking and never shuts the hell up often finds itself…shutting the hell up.  So, in this new spirit and also for the sake of continued blog entries, instead of a long and drawn out summary of vaguely descriptive memories and no-longer-relevant issues/mentalities of the past 2 months, I will sum it all up with this It’s The End of the World As We Know It/We Didn’t Start The Fire style rhyme scheme to bring everything up to the present.

Brother’s wedding, table setting, much romancing, Ticodancing, who came here? Former volunteer! Drinking lots of beer.

April starts, sun departs, town is quiet, rice/beans diet, Easter celebration, Panama vacation, better sanitation but tourism invasion, returning home=accidental illegal immigration, hop back on bus, passport stamps a must, make it back, sleep all week we lacked, but fun times had by all (two of us)!

Here comes May? What the hay?! It seems I got here yesterday!WorldTeachmidservice in San Jose, volunteers reunite yay!, shared stories we’ve had along the way, and then from the great U. S of A a friend flew down here just to play, his name Dan Israel a chap from school, “porque no?” was our only rule! A weekend spent with French girls by the beach, by Monday La Esperanza I’d reached, thenGave a test, some tried their best, some others less, Some kids need a kick in the butt, and some days I feel  quite in a rutt, Goddamnit kid I know you think you’re soooo cool and fine, but ultimately listen buddy…you’re 9…on the other hand I feel so lucky, with my 1^st graders cuter than a baby ducky, and some older ones making me notes and cards, protecting me like miniature bodyguards, some love to learn, some LOVE to annoy, some are so sincere and others just coy, some days I feel great, and others like sighing, okay sighing sounds manlier but truthfully..it’s closer to crying, so for those who say those who can’t do choose to teach, come over here so I can kick you hard in the ass (that doesn’t rhyme, it just needs to be said)…sooooo then I found a local waterfall, the hikes a pain but worth it all, built a ladder and set up my hammock, the jungle is my panoramic, bought a machete, though I’m probably not ready, destroyed the forest, a choice the poorest, found out messing with the wrong tree, leads to the WORST case of poison ivy, went to the Doc to fix my ills, to me he gave a lot of pills, antibiotics and benadryls, and two shots in my tush added to my bills

And now I lay in my warm cama on a cold “winter” night darker than Obama, I cannot sleep, not a wink or a peep, maybe take some benadryl??? Well, after all I have a heep!  Though it probably won’t work, I’m too excitied for manana, for in the afternoon comes my hermana!  It’s been too long since I have seen’a, but by 3pm tomorrow I’ll be with Rina!  For 10 days she will grace my presence, with her big bright smile and effervescence, though I’m excited as can be, I think my students are more excited than me, We’ve lots of plans and adventures to come, and I promise I won’t be a lazy bum, so more blogs coming soon, this time I swear, unless we’re eaten by a bear, but since no bear’s dwell in this land, I believe a new entry is shortly at hand, so goodnight for now till the next idiomabroma, time to drift off into an 8 hour coma.

Okay, admittedly it definitely got a little more “Twas the Night Before Christmas” with a little bit of Doctor Seuss towards the end there, but…I tried.  So, Merry Thursday to all and to all a goodnight!:-)

The kids got really excited to make cards for Rina's arrival (it's so adorable!) and th 3rd and 4th graders really wanted me to write something on the board in English they could copy so they could show off their English (/not have to think as hard)...so I just couldn't help myself to such a golden opportunity for them to show off...this card is compliments of my favorite 4th grader, Yinia: